It's 8.17 pm.
On a not-so-quiet Tuesday night.
And I am done with my third sem at Intec. Alhamdulillah I have survived the hassle of being a wreckage at the beginning of the sem just because I didn't pass my pointer which I did later on when I excel my supp paper (which cost RM200) so it better be worth it and thank god it is worth it. This also brings me to the state of mind that if you don't study for college, you're not gonna pass through that easily like you did at high school and honey high school is soooooooooooo different from college and I guess I just need to suck it up. I don't know why, I'm still at this state of mind that I'm 17. Not trying to claim that I am evergreen or having a spur of moment; everlasting youth. It's just that, I'm stuck at being 17. I'm stuck at the idea of 17. I guess I never once imagined myself over 17.
So yes, everything that happens now. Is out of my imagination.
Out of my mind control.
Out of my expectation.
And I have never imagined that I've survived one year and a half of college.
Which marks 2 years I've been out of school.
And I never felt like I've blinked you know.
And holidays does not in any way to be define as slacking back relax and making myself fat anymore for this sem break.
It is being redefined as study your ass off because AS external is on its way and honey it is as fast as it can get, like a bullet train.
Thinking about how things turns out as how it is now, makes me wonder.
I mean I imagined life as it is before I turned 17. But now that I've gotten over it, my mind couldn't keep pace with the reality.
That in a few months I'll be thousand of miles away from home.
And that is very very..... terrifying.
and with all this things going on, I just.
Just.
Am not sure how to handle things.
Just.
Am not sure of what's happening.
It's just.
Just.
I don't know how to be me anymore.
Or if I'm being one.
I guess time and age kinda messed up your mind.
And I'm not even sure for how long it'll be.
I just
hope I can get through.
p/s: I have a tumblr which I just created for short writings. I have one before but that is just for reblogging. and maybe I'll be less active here. Just saying, don't miss me okay?
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