Henlooooo everyone (especially for aimi because she's an angel who's constantly reading my blog with endless support). So today is saturday and someone is at my home doing some construction/renovation thingy so me and my brother will be here for a while until lunch hour I guess, so I'm in my room now and decided that maybe I'll write after all. Frankly speaking, my writing have been rusty lately due to the fact that I haven't read much and well, exposing feelings much. I decided to share with all of you about working experience so far. I felt the need to expose my overwhelming feelings and anxiousness on certain things and hoping that some of you can understand or that some of you can relate to it.
So here goes.
Working have me in a strange phase, probably because I never worked before. The only one time I work is after SPM phase and that is working in a factory. Literally nothing much, just routine stuff. But working in an office, this is my first time. So it's a new thing altogether. I was the only new kid on the block when I first came in. Before that, 2 months before, there's a whole bunch of new intake and so there exist two kind of groups in my office; the seniors and the newbies. I'm the newest newbie I guess. Office was kinda awkward due to that. I can sense the awkward tense in the air once in a while. Yeah I can't read people's mind due to my course, but me as a whole being is quite good in sensing the atmosphere and reading people's "between the lines". So yeah, office was still quite awkward to me; oh and due to the fact that I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I'm going to talk it over with my boss next week.
I guess my boss himself doesn't really know what kind of work I should do or if he does, he doesn't really talk to me about it (because he's super busy)
Oh and also awkward situation is where I doesn't really know what's going on in office and suddenly been taken to attend super big meeting with boss of my boss where I just sit there, listen to things, with no introduction of what I'm supposed to be listening to.
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| Missing Cardiff so much :'( |
This phase of life, is very confusing.
I don't really have work to do, in all honesty.
So I've been really anxious because I feel bad for not doing work while everyone else is.
But then honestly I don't really know if anyone really is doing their work too haha.
Oh and the fact that I haven't gotten anything at all is also probably why I've been feeling weird and feeling like I haven't started working because I don't have specific task (yet) that I have to do and don't have any laptop, desktop, id card, or official work email. I haven't gotten anything at all so it's weird. I literally just walk in the office, like that, with my body and legs as a proof of working there.
Idk if I'm exaggerating things or what, but maybe I was so stocked up with the idea of working will be hectic as heck (and it will soon I believe), so not having specific instruction on what to do is worrying me.
My boss also asked me to do my own job task and KPI. That got me worried as hell because I'm green. How do I know what my own job task if my boss doesn't really give me specific instruction.
Imagine hearing things like "I want you to be multi-talented, that you can do everything from preparing MoU, to knowing about laws, and psychology of our workers department, and also help the Insured Person).
I have really no idea what is it that I'm doing.
I have no idea what is going on.
Please pray that I won't break from all this confusion.
And that my work won't be too much for me to handle.
But in all honesty, life have always chosen me to be the guinea pig.
It's amazing really, to the point that I'm not even surprised anymore.
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