Adulting

my writers head is on edge. I've been wanting to write and talk about a lot of things until I think that my head would not be able to take it anymore. There is so many things to say, but before that, I would like to say to whoever it is that's reading this, I wish you all the happiness in life. But here goes.

I thought that when I started working, I'd figured out what I wanted to do in life. That things are set into stepping motion, and all I needed to do is to walk through it. Like a pavement, all laid out for you to set your feet on. But I'm barely living. I think I'm just surviving. 

And I think I'm not the only one with this thought in mind. I think most people, and quote unquote most and not all, might have felt this way too. And I'm not alone. I never thought how life after studying is a vague process of living; and also probably the realest. I think this is the phase where one is on the journey to find their true self. Our own essence in the world. How would one go through life? What would you choose? Most people opted the life where path have been paved for them. Things that are somehow accessible and I think that's a great choice. But, what about other options?

Are we staying in the safe lane? And why?

Are we expanding our horizon? and if so, how?

It's a natural human instinct to live safely. To be secured in all dimension in life. That's our biological traits and that's okay. That's normal. And so, if let's say that I opted to do something risky, would it be considered as abnormal? No, because we all know risque is not equal to abnormality. 

Yeah but in all honesty, who didn't crave for a little bit of a thrill life, eh?

Turning 24 this year, 

still can't get my goals straighten up.

Can't get my love life in check.

can't get my work scope in order.

we all don't have a guide for adulting do we?

I mean who am I kidding, even if we have,

would it help?

here's a random evidence of me living my life in the end of 2018. 

You know how I said I'm always lost when I'm at Cardiff, that's nothing compared to life now today. Cardiff have always been straight and honest, brutally honest to my face nonetheless, but honest. And comforting, it's like that one friend you can't get off because they always say the truth about you but you're so annoyed at them because they're true most of the times, and the truth hurts.

But now, here?

It's like a crowd of facades.

And I never knew that humans can be exhausting.

and draining.

Here's to a great year in 2019 guys,

don't forget to live.