Fear

I have claustrophobic, fear of lack of space. Fear of being trapped, fear of crowded places. And the thing with people with this kind of phobia is they tend to get suffocated which is, if it's horrible enough, can be fatal. That's my one and only phobia, unless you considered having this fear towards amphibians is a phobia too but I hated frogs or idk maybe I hated the fact that they're too slimy and they're jumping around. Ergh. That, are somehow my worldly fears. But you know what I fear the most? It's the unsettling future. God I fear them so much, because I can't know for sure what they are. Sure if you have claustrophobic you know you fear the lack of space. You know when you fear frogs it's because they're stupidly slimy. But the thing about fearing the future, is just you don't know. You can't tell if future is going to let you have it all good and awesome, or just the other way around. That's the thing with worldly matters, they're not certain, they're temporary. They changes from time to time. 

As much as I fear my future now, because A-level is stupid and hard, or maybe I'm stupid and hard at head as in blocked on receiving mental knowledge, I'm also content. Because somehow the only thing that I know for sure is my Lord. And I know that whatever happens happens. Sheikh Taufiq Chowdry once said, that the reason I was at the TOF is because hundred thousand years ago He wrote in between heavens and earth, that I was destined to be there. It's His plans.

So what I know for sure now, is that whatever happens in my future, given my effort, is because He wants me there. 

So no matter how unsettling future is, I just know one thing.

That it's His plans,

and goodness will come out of it insha Allah.

And now,

all I need to do is give my best effort.

And let whatever may come, to come.